A DANCE IN THREE MOVEMENTS (PART II)

Download Issue 47

Or pick up a copy here

Share Button

Wires from removed light fittings dangle. Cracked stucco walls moulder. The remains of the carpet underlay snake the stone floor and a sign that says ‘Please take a ticket’ points its arrow at nothing. But one mustn’t linger. Phase three of the dance, in which there are two sub-movements, has begun. The security staff’s favourites, or principal players have been granted positions ahead of you and you must choose which one of the fluctuating queues to join. You take your pick and you stick to it. It is unclear which window intends to deal with visa requests and which passports or document legalisation etc. but this doesn’t matter. You must be in a queue. It is imperative for the consistency of phase three of the dance.

The squelching dies down a little. The disdain is now being vocalised and rises to a grand crescendo. The brave souls manning the uncategorised windows begin glancing scornfully at the queues. Suddenly they shake their heads at the petitioners. The worst has happened. Some of the dancers are in the wrong queue. A novice error this! They can’t have understood the duality of phase three! Fools! They will simply be told to go to the back. Women throw their arms in the air. They scuff their feet like recalcitrant children ruining their pristine Nike Air Jordans on the detritus below. Men in shiny suits laugh at them and shake their heads. They put their hands to their mouths and grin as their oversized imitation Rolexes slide down their infant-like wrists.

Then HE arrives. The Lead Dancer. The best-dressed man you have ever seen appears gleaming like a new car. His hat sits atop his head like he first wore it as he danced from his mother’s womb. His three-piece suit is cut for him like skin. His cravat and cravat pin punctuate the splendour of a shirt so colourful you would disappear if you even thought about wearing it. His elegant footwear is so flawlessly buffed, it is as though you were granted a glimpse of the infinite. He is magnificent and his Nureyev-like anachronousness to the concrete, the club-footedness, the gracelessness and decrepitude is only magnified by our desperate, cloying mediocrity.

Silence. Not even a squelch.

It is HE who decides which queue is for which purpose. HE and HE alone has this duty and HE performs it like a God. The climax of the dance has been announced and you slide, slip, run, hop and shimmy your way to your place on the stage around your cross-trafficking fellow dancers, finally securing your spot where you will be seen to (but by no means guaranteed a visa).

Going out

Who the hell is Sugar Sammy? – That moment your wife tells you you’re going to see a French-speaking comedy in Paris

GOING OUT
Anglophones in Paris are fortunate to be able to enjoy a thriving English-speaking comedy scene, with regular stand-up nights across the city. Personally, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing most of these and have even [...]

Community News

COMMUNITY NEWS

360€ for 50 Hours Tuition!!! The Newest French Language School in Paris offers the most accessible rates

French language classes at Centre Zenith in the 20th arrondissement began on October 18th 2018. Founded by Sourav Choudhury, Centre Zenith brings experienced and native French speakers to the classroom where courses are explained with […]

Random Stories

Cover features

Just for Fun

interviews

Health

Family

Living

LIFE

Grumpy in Paris – 5 ways to beat the upcoming ‘winter blues’

Living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world has its many perks. A wealth of galleries, museums, delicious food, beautiful walks and a melodic language under no matter what context. But all pros have their cons and one of the lesser points of Paris these days is the ‘rentrée effect’ where people have come back from their holidays, said goodbye to summer and are now waiting for winter (even though we’ve only just hit autumn). Here are some ways to beat those winter blues and enjoy the colder season ahead … […]

Education

EDUCATION

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS & RESEARCHERS: GET ANSWERS TO THEIR QUESTIONS AND PAPERWORK IN ONE SINGLE PLACE! WELCOME DESK PARIS 2018

FOR THE 16TH CONSECUTIVE YEAR, THE CITÉ INTERNATIONALE UNIVERSITAIRE DE PARIS HAS SET UP A MULTI-SERVICE WELCOME AREA FOR FOREIGN STUDENTS AND RESEARCHERS, FROM THE END OF AUGUST THROUGH NOVEMBER, WITH THE SUPPORT OF THE CITY […]

COMMUNITY NEWS

Non-Profit – The Paris Institute for Critical Thinking begin university quality courses in English

Paris is hard to beat for its cultural and intellectual vibrancy. But the city’s English-speaking inhabitants – whether from France or abroad — do not have many opportunities to employ the language in sophisticated intellectual […]

Use our IG hashtag #expatriatesmagazine - We print our favourites

Something is wrong.
Instagram token error.

Random Listing

  • PSYCHOLOGIST NEUILLY-SUR-SEINE
    Laetitia’s treatment modality is attachment-based and mindfulness-based. She specializes in working with anxiety, trauma, parenting difficulties and life transitions. She uses play-based therapies with children.[Read more]