As a Belgian/Australian expat, married to a Frenchman, it’s safe to say that my linguistic skills range from being a fluent smooth talker to sounding like a blubbering idiot who’s had one too many. When I first met my husband, my high-school French had to suffice, while I took on extra language courses in my quest to become a bona fide ‘française’ (or at the least, to sound like one….) I honestly thought I was doing a good job. However, often I’m met with a few setbacks which take me down a peg and remind me that, no matter how fluent I might become, there will always be hick-ups on the path to bilingual fluency. This, subsequently, can damage the confidence and sometimes make us feel like we’ll always be the eternal ‘outsider’. The following setbacks do not necessarily block the communication, but have been known to derail the messages…
1. Vocal cultural contrast
I don’t know if this is specific to English-speakers, or if I’m just a talker, but I always tend to add a little backstory or example to ‘further explain’. For example, when needing to change an appointment; the French simply call… change the date….say goodbye (they may be direct, but they still have manners).. and hang up. I, on the other hand, feel the need to explain why I am changing the appointment. Doing this in my native tongue, would take an entire two seconds: “Hi, I need to change my appointment as I have to pick up my child from school earlier than expected”. However, throw in a second or third language, and that simple explanation turns into a mumble of excuses! “Hi… I need to change my appointment.. the family… my kid is at school… but they can’t be for long.. I have to pick them up..*fumbles with phone’s translation app* ..*groan*”. Frankly, no one has time for that; and some even lose patience; which gets you even more tongue tied when you hear someone sighing on the other end. Keep it simple… if you stay simple, chances are you’ll be understood better.
2. The ‘direct translation’ catch
This one has gotten me on numerous occasions… I know that the basic message is usually received when we translate directly from our native language. However certain misuses of words can often lead to either comical or awkward situations. I once told my mother-in-law I was excited to see my husband again after 3 months… sounds innocent enough right? But the word ‘excité’ in French can be more commonly used when someone is excited in the … let’s say…more ‘romantic’ sense (yes, I mean horny). I also once told them I lost my mind which, using direct translation; lead them to believe that I had misplaced my brains. My Belgian friends have had a chuckle or two where I’ve thrown in some expressions directly translated from English. My girlfriend was very confused when I randomly started blabbing about pastries when her partner ‘wanted to have it all’… in the Belgian language, it seems, people don’t “have their cake and eat it too”.
3. You’re not funny in another language
There’s nothing worse than trying to fit in with a joke and being the only one left laughing to an awkward silence or the sound of crickets chirping. Unless the joke is a primary school leveled wisecrack, I’d stay away from using witty humor in another language until you’ve mastered it. Like the above two points, a lot of the underlying wit is often misinterpreted or the message is lost in translation. A direct translation can lead to an entirely different joke and don’t forget the cultural differences in what we perceive as ‘funny’. What may be seen as dirty in one language, can be construed as completely vulgar in another. Also, some things are just funnier in one language and not the other (looking at a play of words, colloquial meanings etc) …. well at least you cracked yourself up right?
4. Some people just switch off as soon as they hear an accent
It’s unfortunately true that some people switch off and stop listening as soon as they hear an accent. This does not mean they are completely ignoring you, nor that they are discriminating (calm down), but they only end up hearing what they want to hear and they no longer put in the effort. For me, this happens most frequently when on the phone. At least in person you could charm them with a smile or sad ‘please-I’m-not-fluent-but-I’
5. An attempt to master the accent ends up in a drunken slur
Sometimes we try to master an accent in order to sound more fluent; however we focus less on the grammar and start making mistakes. We often pick up on these mistakes straight away, but instead of changing our accents mid-sentence (because we don’t want to sound like an idiot); we end up slurring or mumbling our way out of it. I think it’s better to speak the language correctly, even if our accents are lousy, rather than sound like a fluent, but moronic, native. As a side note, I would like to include the actual slurring incidents (usually as a result of one too many beers) where we think we’re a lot more fluent than what we are (we also think we’re better dancers, philosophers and peacekeepers).
6. The nonexistence of certain words
Anyone who speaks more than one language is familiar with the scenario where you know the perfect word or expression to describe your situation, just not in the language you need at the time. A direct translation of such a saying only results in confusing the person even more. Just like having ‘chickenskin’ (‘kippenvel’ in Dutch) is not the right way to describe goosebumps, neither is ‘becoming a goat’ (devenir chêvre’ in French ) to tell people you’re being driven mad by all the language jumbles. We,multilingual speakers, would kick ass at scrabble if we could just mix and match the languages we know.
7. Language fusion
Any multilingual family can relate with the vast mixing pot of languages we deal with on a daily basis. Because we all speak the different languages together, often our sentences can start in one language and finish in the other (heck, let’s add a third one in the middle, just for shits and giggles – another expression badly translated by the way). We do it with such speed and accuracy that we don’t even notice the difference. Fast forward to when you’re speaking with someone who is not part of that same family and you’ve got yourself a very confused listener. Our 4 year old, who is currently speaking in three languages, often all in the same sentence, will grow out of it soon and master her linguistics. I, on the other hand, will need some more practice….. The idea that the world of each language is divided into two groups: “fluent” and “non-fluent” is not realistic. Language is a living thing; it always happens within a certain context and every scenario is different for everyone. Fluency is not purely linguistic but involves non-verbal communication as well. Written fluency won’t help you to understand the meaning of a nod or a gesture. I think that’s why children (well.. children and drunk people) can communicate so well… they focus on what the person is trying to relay rather than how they are saying it. I know, with time, I’ll hopefully master the French language and walk around like I own the place, but in the meantime I’ll just row my boat on the ‘fluent enough’ plateau and go from there. In the meantime I bid you ‘adieu’ with ‘nog een prettige dag verder’ and ‘une bonne journée’!7 Ways that show you’re not as fluent as you think
By Stefanie Selen
A qualified Psychologist who started with trauma survivors and later turned to private practice. As well as a health and wellness professional, I’m also a mother of two, wife of one, veteran expatriate and self proclaimed ‘foodie’ (which is just another way of saying my favorite hobby is eating). I’m a blogger who started to write about everyday situations, share research and experience and offer helpful advice. www.lifesrecipebook.com
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