6 things they don’t tell you about marrying a French man

When we first fall in love with our French men we are dazzled, and see things through rose-tinted glasses for a while. But sure enough, a few years into marriage, we start to notice annoying little habits that we didn’t see at the beginning.

I’ve been married to my French husband for 8 years and I’d like to share a few things I have noticed and wished that I’d known from the start.

1. 1. 1. 1. HE WILL BE A VERY MESSY EATER
            A forty-four-year-old man is too old to learn about how to make less mess by using a plate. He doesn’t care about your advice, or how annoying you find the crumbs. For breakfast, he won’t use a plate at all. If you give him one, he won’t know what to do with it and will use it as a giant saucer for his cup and still put his bread on the table top! As an exception, he might use a piece of kitchen towel as a disposable breakfast plate.
         2. HE WILL BE BRUTALLY HONEST
            Don’t ask him if you look fat and wait for a fake compliment reply. Your Frenchman wont sugar-coat reality for you. The in-laws give you negative honest opinions too, usually about your country’s food, when you least expect it and when you cannot escape, and your French husband will be on their side. This is classed as ‘banter.’
         3. HE WON’T GET YOU A PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY
            Every celebration will be played down to the max, especially Valentines and birthdays. If you don’t put pressure on him to get you something, he’ll ignore celebrations altogether. You will also start to view celebrations in a different light. You will happily free yourself from the emotional ride of present receiving, completely.
         4. JUST BECAUSE HE’S FRENCH DOESN’T MEAN HE CAN DO THE PAPERWORK
            Don’t fall into the trap of assuming that things will be easier because you’ve married a French person. French people are just as hopeless with paperwork as foreigners are. Even the people who sent you the papers don’t understand the papers. The only person who can really help you with your papers is another expat.
         5. YOU’LL NEVER LIVE UP TO THE STANDARDS SET BY HIS MOTHER
            You know that amazing meal she cooked for you the first day you met her, the one with the mushrooms she had foraged for that afternoon? That meal wasn’t a one off. That’s the level of service your husband had every day of his life until adulthood, and it’s what he is accustomed to.  But don’t worry. If you want to learn how to look after her son properly, she’ll happily to teach you, and is only one phone call away!
         6. YOUR SUPER SEXY FRENCHMAN WILL LOSE HIS SEX DRIVE
            I’m sorry, but it’s inevitable. You both will at some point, especially if you have kids and work long hours. You also lose the romance, and it doesn’t just pop back into your life out of nowhere. You’ll both have to work very hard to bring it back, like every other couple on the planet. Sex and romance will come and go, grow and change and become something you never imagined it could be. A romantic stroll together in Paris without your kids might end up being the most emotionally charged activity you’ve ever experienced!

   By Gemma Price
   A British woman married to a French man. They live in Paris, with their two adorable bilingual kids. Her dream is to one day live in the mountains, with a smallholding, a hammock and a tree swing.

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