14 awkward moments when speaking French

Filters Sort
Share Button

14 mistakes you’ll probably make when learning French – but who cares? It’s all part of the fun 🙂

Baiser

The awkward moment when you confuse a kiss for a F***. Next time say bisou

Chatte

That strange look when it seems the conversation has moved beyond your cute kitten. Next time use the generic masculine «chat». 

Beau cul

You’re at the boulangerie and mispronounce beaucoup and inadvertently compliment the owner’s behind. Next time practice and you’ll get this one right

Tu es bonne

The moment you’ve overstepped the compliment boundary. Next time say Tu es douée.

Il suce

You try to explain that a footballer sucks but get It all wrong. Next time say Il est nul.

Je suis excité

You have a date coming up. instead of saying you’re excited to see them, you announce that you’re horny (and supposedly ready). Next time say J’ai hâte d’y être

Je suis chaude

You announce to everyone in the office you’re turning on the A/C because you’re hot. Next time say J’ai chaud.

M’a  introduit

When you explain that a mutual friend has inserted Into you. Instead of introduced you. Next time say M’a Présenté

Préservative

The moment you ask for food without preservatives but accidentally ask without condoms. Next time Conservateurs

Cochonne

Love Chinese food? it’s only normal to explain you eat like a pig… but you didn’t understand that Cochonne means someone who loves sex. Next time say Je me suis gavée comme une oie.

Connard

When you accidently ask the waiter if they have jerk on the menu instead of duck. Next time say Canard

J’ai envie de toi

When you want to tell a friend you’re envious of them but accidently declare your desire to sleep with them. Next time say Tu as de la chance.

Je suis plein(e)

During the first meal with your in-laws, you’re asked if you’d like another serving, to which you announce to the whole family that you’re pregnant. Next time say Je n’ai plus faim.

Oui j’ai bien joui

You’ve Just returned from holiday and returned back to the office, your French manager asks if you enjoyed the visit, to which you enthusiastically inform them you had an orgasm. Oops. Next time say Oui je me suis bien amusé.


A special thank you to French teacher and founder of LaLangue Paris Sandrine Durand for helping us put this infographic together.
LaLangue Paris is currently offering community members a free French lesson in their Juneclasses – see the offer details here


Would you like to nominate someone for Best of Paris 2019?

Your Name:*
Do you have an Instagram account? We will tag you when your nomination is uploaded (thank you for your contribution)
Who do you nominate?:*
Category?:*
Reason for nomination:
If the category does not exist we will need additional nominations to create a category...
Additional Nomination 1:
Additional Nomination 2:
Additional Nomination 3:
  • View all the categories and nominate someone  here, 
  • Read the Best of Paris FAQs here.
  • Stay informed of the Best of News on social media here.
  • Buy your Best of Paris Results edition advertisement here
  • Distribute the magazine here.
  • Download Best of Paris 2018 results here

Best of Paris 2019 categories

  • After-school activity – Best of Paris 2019
  • Alternative Activity – Best of Paris 2019
  •  Association for Expats – Best of Paris 2019
  • Bagel – Best of Paris 2019
  • Bakery/Patisserie – Best of Paris 2019
  • Band, Musician, Singer - Best of Paris 2019
  • Bank – Best of Paris 2019
  • Bar to hang out with fellow expats – Best of Paris 2019
  • Artist in Paris 2019
  • Business & Networking Group - Best of Paris 2019
  • Business Consultant – Best of Paris 2019
  • Instagrammer (Original content) Best of Paris 2019
  • Parenting Group in Paris – Best of Paris 2019
  • School (Language) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Blog – Best Paris Blog – Best of Paris 2019
  • Blog (Fashion) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Blog (Food) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Bookshop – Best of Paris 2019
  • Breakfast – Best of Paris 2019
  • Brunch – Best of Paris 2019
  • Burger – Best of Paris 2019
  • Burrito – Best of Paris 2019
  • Cabaret – Best of Paris 2019
  • Café – Best of Paris 2019
  • Cakes – Best of Paris 2019
  • Child-Friendly Café – Best of Paris 2019
  • Childcare Service – Best of Paris 2019
  • Childrens’ Social Group – Best of Paris 2019
  • Cocktail – Best of Paris 2019
  • Comedy – Best of Paris 2019
  • Comedy club – Best of Paris 2019
  • Concierge Service - Best of Paris 2019
  • Craft Beer – Best of Paris 2019
  • Dating App/Site (Best of Paris 2019)
  • Donuts – Best of Paris 2019
  • English Pub – Best of Paris 2019
  • Expat Event – Best of Paris 2019
  • Expert - Best of Paris 2019
  • Facebook Community for expats – Best of Paris 2019
  • Facebook Page – Best of Paris 2019
  • Fitness Instructor – Best of Paris 2019
  • Foreign Foods – Best of Paris 2019
  • Gluten-free/Organic – Best of Paris 2019
  • Hairdresser – Best of Paris 2019
  • Hidden Dining – Best of Paris 2019
  • Home/office Organisation – Best of Paris 2019
  • Image Consultant – Best of Paris 2019
  • Instagram Account to see Paris – Best of Paris 2019
  • Irish Pub – Best of Paris 2019
  • Jazz Club – Best of Paris 2019
  • Make-up Artist -Best of Paris 2019
  • Montessori Education – Best of Paris 2019
  • Neighbourhood – Best of Paris 2019
  • Nursery – Best of Paris 2019
  • Open Mic – Best of Paris 2019
  • Phone Network – Best of Paris 2019
  • Photographer (Fashion) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Photographer (Portrait) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Photographer (Wedding/Engagement) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Pizza – Best of Paris 2019
  • Playgroup/ After school – Best of Paris 2019
  • Podcast/radio – Best of Paris 2019
  • Premier League Matches – Best Bar – Best of Paris 2018
  • Removal Service – Best of Paris 2019
  • Rooftop Bar (Sunset view) – Best of Paris 2019
  • School / Class (Dance) – Best of Paris 2019
  • School / Class (Drama) – Best of Paris 2019
  • School / Class (Music) – Best of Paris 2019
  • School (Suburbs) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Schooling (Parent Association) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Scottish Pub – Best of Paris 2019
  • Shopping Centre – Best of Paris 2019
  • Sports Bar – Best of Paris 2019
  • Startup (By an expat) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Suburb - Best of Paris 2019
  • Summer Camp – Best of Paris 2019
  • Tea Room – Best of Paris 2019
  • Teacher (Dance) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Teacher (French Language) – Best of Paris 2019
  • Theatre Group– Best of Paris 2019
  • Therapist – Best of Paris 2019
  • Tour – Best of Paris 2019
  • Training / coach – Best of Paris 2019
  • View – Best of Paris 2019
  • Volunteering opportunity – Best of Paris 2019
  • Waterfront Bar – Best of Paris 2019
  • Website for expats – Best of Paris 2019
  • Wedding Planner – Best of Paris 2019
  • Yoga Instructor – Best of Paris 2019
  • Yoga Studio – Best of Paris 2019
  • Youth Club – Best of Paris 2019
  • YouTuber – Best of Paris 2019
  • Zumba Instructor – Best of Paris 2019
  • Submit a Nomination
    Your Name:*
    Do you have an Instagram account? We will tag you when your nomination is uploaded (thank you for your contribution)
    Who do you nominate?:*
    Category?:*
    Reason for nomination:
    If the category does not exist we will need additional nominations to create a category...
    Additional Nomination 1:
    Additional Nomination 2:
    Additional Nomination 3: